Just us two.

I left Ava's father, Travis when I was 19 weeks pregnant. I often look back and think maybe I was too quick to give up. Then I think maybe I took too long.
Over the last few years I have had more than my fair share of dirty looks and rude comments about being a single mother. One lady even said to my Mum that she should make me go back to him. At first this sort of behaviour upset me deeply, along with seeing the families with both the mum & dad however I now realise I make a far better parent on my own than I ever would have with him.
Heck, half the time I do a better job than the ones judging.
Ava is always clean and well fed. She is healthy and ridiculously happy. She has such an outgoing personality with amazing manners. There is nothing more accomplishing than looking at her and thinking 'wow this is all credit to me'.
I have not seen Travis since the day I left late November 06 and recently spoke to him for the first time in 2 years. He was and still is a horrid person. I often wonder what on earth made me ever think he'd be a good father. He was a lousy father to his first daughter. I was too young and naive to realise.
Quite frankly I believe Ava is better off without him and would rather she never knew of him. However I do not ever want my baby girl who I've cared for and nourished into the beautiful little girl she is to one day be a grown woman and resent me, blaming me for her father never being around. At first I tried so hard to force Ava on to him... 'till I realised it shouldn't be that way. He should be the one trying hard to have a relationship with her. So I gave up. Hence why it has been 2 years since we've spoken.
In this time Travis took to raising someone elses daughter. I cannot begin to explain how frustrating it is that the same man who cannot afford to support his own flesh and blood yet can support someone elses is. The fact he had moved on and/or she had a child did and still doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the idea of take care of your own first.
Then I hear from his first daughters mother what that little girl has to endure and again I look at Ava and hope that one day she'll say "Mum, I understand why you did all you did and thank you".
I have spoken to soooo many people that are the Ava's in their family and ask their opinion.
I have came to the conclusion I will show her photos and say "Yes thats your daddy". I will never talk to her about how much of a manipulative arse wipe I think him to be, nor will I try and force my opinion of him on to her. Age appropriately I will tell her what I feel she should know.
I have opened up the door for him to begin a relationship with her. I have offered him the chance to meet her in feb when we holiday to where he lives. He said he'll think about it and get back to me. Hmmmph you'd think he'd jump at the chance. Secretly though I'd be disappointed on Ava's behalf if he says no, which I think he will, I'd also be relieved. I'm just so set in the way I raise her and am afraid what her reaction to him will be.. however by me doing this she can never think that I am the reason she doesn't have a relationship with him if he chooses not to.
So I guess we'll wait and see...